INTEGRATIONALISM

"all things in existence are physiologically connected"

Archive for love

Inspired by Egalitarianism, Housework, and Sexual Frequency in Marriage

On Feb 6th Lori Gotlieb wrote a article for NYTimes called “does more equal marriage mean less sex?” inspired by life experiences and a correlation study titles “egalitarianism, housework and sexual frequency in marriage“. Note: correlations are not the same causality, and these articles identify correlation. A psychologist friend of mine raised Lori’s question to a group of our friends in a discussion forum that week, to explore what society is actually ready for as women and men become more equal i with regard to the types of work we all do.

Here is vlogger Greg Jacobsen with a quick vlog on ownership in relationships. Lori’s article and Greg’s comments inspire me to consider ownership in sexual relationships and how it relates to Integrationalism.

From an economic standpoint it is necessary to establish separation between the varied ownerships of things and space (whether temporary or permanent) by individuals and institutions. As I elaborated on previously our portable value is derived from our ownership. Its good capitalistic practice to identify all participants when ever possible, as the pool of value is directly connected to the actual monetary values (wealth) measured by economists. Ensuring that separation of roles and responsibilities in any methodological structure is crucial to the expansion of our capitalistic system of value. Intimate and sexual relationships are not safe from this exploration.

Its necessary to understand a few definitions first:

  • sexuality is a primal phenomena that occurs in all animals, even the asexuals and gender changing species (e.g. amphibians and now mammals via humans).
  • relationships (including marriages) are methodological systems that have benefited human evolution from a political, sociological, and economic standpoint.
    • methodologies are a kind of technology. All tech are either: methodological, hardware, or software.
      • Technologies are about capturing potential, and control. Our survival is dependent on them until they are rendered obsolete by new designs.

The correlations that we see in the NYTimes article and corresponding study are results of a breakdown in the modern method of relationships, per the ideal of a successful relationship involving some variance of sexual passion or emotion. In our modern era, which succeeds the hunting-gathering era women have been deemed less equal because of their inability to produce at the same capacity. As we’ve evolved form hunters and gatherers our early tools (hardware tech) required some of the brawn that only sufficient testosterone can create. Methodologically, cultures developed around the work that brought us what we consider modern civilizations, feudalism, the industrial revolution, and women were more or less auxiliary. We’ve come a long way with our tech, so far that women are back in the driver seat as they once were when hunting and gathering was the equalizer of production between genders. Our tech infrastructure is increasingly precious to human-rights.

The frequency of sex in a relationship is not specific to the sexuality (primal), but is specific to the relationship (tech). Our technology is deterministic in how it is dictating our ability 9or inability) to live comfortably within antiquated relationship methods. More plainly I mean to state that, the methodological work of relationships take away from the primal sexual emotional “systems” (as Helen Fisher would call them) and divert our attention to more collaborative efforts with our partner(s). Of course there are anomalies and extraordinary couples out there; however, sex is not about tech, or social norms, or rights/wrongs, or scientific understanding even, its about sight and smells and tastes and sounds and stuff we can touch.

Finally, where is the tech taking us? I’m extrapolating towards polyamory: which allows for relatively uninhibited multi-partnered non-ownership of others. Polyamory, also acknowledges individual’s ability fall in love (and abstraction defined as a system of brain activities by Helen Fisher) with many other individuals. Love, per Fisher’s explanation renders monogamy ill-equipped to accommodate modern (more egalitarian) relationship structures. more to come………

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